| | i think i may give myspace a break. nah.
anyway, i have been thinking much of gods love.
im a pretty crappy dude when i look at what i have done in the past, how inconsistent i have been, and how i have left a trail of bad decisions, immaturity and insecurity. i constantly give into the flesh and put what i know of christ and his unfailing love on the shelf, to a time where it seems more convenient. i suck at finances, relationships, and at times can be pretty lazy. i overcommit myself and end up giving up under the pressure to get things done all at once. i am an opportunist and at times causes me to shun commitment because something better might be around the corner. i am a horrible organizer and that causes me to lose important stuff.
with all that said, i look at myself and wonder if i could just straighten one thing on that list out, i might know gods love. if i could just get things right, maybe god might reveal that peace of his love, and i might for once get it. i feel like (sometimes) that i have to have the stars line up for God to love me. this is not truth.
god loves me. unconditionally.
as i write that word, unconditionally, tears stream down my face because for the first time in ten years as a christian, i am beginning to understand what it means. that list above means nothing to God. he really loves me no matter what i do, or what i say, or how i act. i want to express more of how i feel about this, but its really a basic thing, and to keep explaining it would mean i would have to keep typing the same thing over and over. i havent read any books lately that made me think of this, only thoughts of my life and where i am going and who i am. i truly believe that God is shining his light on this area of my life and exposing lies that i have believed. this hurts. but i like it. i am developing, like a child, and it makes me want to grab this new world and pursue it. i am realizing that there is much more to this, and i dont want to miss it.
he is love.
|
| | Posted 11/26/2006 2:47 AM - 73 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
